I read this quote recently and it really resonated with me:
“There is a big difference between giving up and starting over in the right direction. Know when enough is enough already, and respect yourself for feeling that way. Sometimes we have to say goodbye before we say hello. Sometimes we have to let go to move forward with our lives”. -Marc and Angel Chernoff
I think too often we as humans give up on making a change because it seems too hard. It’s not the right time. Too many things have to come together for this thing to happen. If I don’t start, then I can’t give up. Change is overwhelming. I tried but it’s all too much. I give up. I give up. I give up. Sound familiar?
I get it, I absolutely do. But sometimes giving up and starting over can be beneficial. Humans are supposed to evolve. Staying stagnant and stuck is not how we are meant to function. Giving up and starting over doesn’t mean you are less of a person because you didn’t get it right the first time. Sometimes the “try again and again” part happens over and over and over. And maybe even then, you may not get it right.
Sometimes we have to let go to move forward with our lives. I fundamentally and wholeheartedly believe in this sentence. I have had to let go of relationships that were detrimental to my health. Coping mechanisms that I thought were helping me, really weren’t. I had to change my way of thinking to deal with the daily onslaughts to my mental health. I had to let go. I had to give those things up. I had to start over.
And I have had to move forward. It hasn’t always been easy. There have been good moments and bad moments but I am fundamentally in a better place in my life than I was even 3 months ago. Change is hard but necessary.
If you are feeling a push to give up and start over regarding an aspect of your life, listen to that whisper. Listen to that voice. Know when enough is enough and it is time to move in that direction that you know you need to go in. As the Chernoffs stated at the beginning of my post, “Sometimes we have to say goodbye before we say hello”.
Are you ready?
It can be a fine line but it is a bold line between giving up and starting over. I’ve done my share both!!! When I moved back to Minnesota, it felt a bit like both. One day, it was a bold step to starting over and recalibrating and another day, it meant I had given up and quit. I can be dramatic, ya know. 🙂
I do think we get preached at incessantly about NEVER EVER GIVING UP EVERRRRRR!!! And while we can quit too quickly, sometimes giving up and letting go is 110% the right and sane thing to do. To acknowledge that some things, no matter how much we want them, are not meant to be or that we have changed and no longer want/need what we previously thought we did. As a people pleaser, I struggle with making sure that I don’t put other people’s desires or expectations for me ahead of my own.
It’s great that you’ve been able to let go of things that weren’t helping you and are in a better place than you were before. I’m just so glad to see you writing again!
I 100% agree with you: we do get preached at to never give up EVER! As if humans cannot evolve at all. Society likes labeling people and people don’t want to be seen as “quitters” per se, and so they stay in situations or mindsets that can be unhealthy. It is exhausting sometimes trying to unravel what we’ve been taught to believe for decades.
Thanks for the support Tanya! xx