So, I had a baby about 18 months ago and since then, I have tried to eat healthfully and get back to some sort of exercise regimen but wasn’t seeing results because let’s face it: my attempts were half-hearted at best. And truth be told, taking care of small children is in and of itself exhausting. Sometimes you just want to sit on the couch and eat some chips and salsa in peace.
The months have gone by and I just kept wondering when was it going to be my time? When was the time going to be available for me to get my act together? When? When? When?
When would be the perfect time to take care of me?
I’ll let marcandangel put it succinctly:
If you wait until you are 100% ready, you will be waiting the rest of your life…We waste our time waiting for the ideal path to appear . But it never does. Because we forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting.
Boom.
I was reading a book recently that really helped me which is by a yoga teacher and it talked about trauma and healing. It helped me for a whole host of reasons that I may or may not go into one day, but the fact of the matter is, she made me realize that I matter.
Let me repeat that.
I MATTER.
Sounds simple and maybe for some people they are like, well duh, of course you matter. But here’s the thing: we are all carrying some form of emotional baggage or doubts, or bad habits, that are messing with our mindset and preventing us from evolving or changing or just doing the damn thing.
I matter.
And I am no longer waiting.
A path isn’t going to just appear before me full of healing and hand weights, along with exercise equipment with packs of hummus and carrots for the journey.
I have to walk the path. And in order to forge that path, I need to actually get on it.
I am no longer waiting.
My heath is important and I need to make it a priority. I have people around me that care if I am here or not and I want to physically be there for them.
And I need to do this for me. To be the strongest and healthiest person that I can be. I matter and I need to make sure that I am making choices that support just that.
In the last week or two since I’ve had my small but mighty epiphany, I have exercised. Consistently. I get the whole endorphin thing. Whoa…
I have also made small changes in my eating habits. Nothing drastic, but enough that I am feeling better and not so bloated.
I still have a ways to go, but this is a journey, not as destination. I am in this for the long haul.
I matter. And so do you.
Of course you matter! You always have! 🙂 Good luck with your wellness journey! I’m cheering for you!
Thank you Tonya, I appreciate that so much!! 🙂
Oh, I love this Mackenzie. We are definitely on the same wavelength. You hit the nail on the head – logically we know that we matter but emotionally – we’re less confident. We’ve been told, as women, that everyone else should come first and we should come last and to think differently is selfish and makes you a bad person. Or we’ve had people (most often men) speak over us or claim our good ideas or hard work because they matter *more* and speaking up just makes us look petty or aggressive, not assertive like it is when a man does it. Of course, being assertive isn’t a adjective when it comes to women anyway. So we are constantly told in little ways that we don’t matter, and we start to believe because life throws shit at us, like depression and anxiety, that feeds upon our insecurities and doubts and makes them as tangible as an orange on a tree.
I’m so proud of you for recognizing you not only matter, which is a huge step in itself, but more importantly taking action that proves YOU BELIEVE that you matter. Because knowledge is important but believing that knowledge (especially when it pertains to oneself) and acting upon that belief is so incredibly difficult, at times, and so unbelievably powerful when you do. You do and have always mattered and I’m so glad you’re embracing that FACT too!
You are so right about the fact as women, we tend to put others first. Inherently there is nothing wrong with this but what happens is we stay in that mode, and we completely neglect ourselves and our self-worth and that is where problems start. I really believe I have turned a page with all of this and as always, thank you so much for your support Tanya, It truly means the world to me!!! XO