Along with several other words in today’s lexicon, the word “values” has sprung up in more conversations and blog posts over the past few months. “What are my values?” and “What do I value in life?” seem to be the springboards onto which fraught conversations are run.
Value can be what you esteem to be worth relative merit or importance; what you consider to be essential or important. What you won’t back down on.
But are you backing down? Are your values taking a back seat to the monotony of life or the frenzied clamor of life and its draining entities?
Are you living a life that is true to you?
“I’ve started asking myself: What type of person do I want to be? How do I express my interests and values? Am I living a life that’s true to myself and not the life others expect of me? By spending more time dreaming about what I want for the future, I’ve started to form a better idea of who I want to be and where I want to go”. -Sarah Moss
I am utterly enamored of this quotation by Sarah Moss because it causes one to step back from the hustle and bustle of daily life and really examine what is adding value to our lives and what is not. It causes one to think about the things that they are doing and wondering introspectively if these things are being done for someone else because it is what is expected or are they being done because we want them to be?
You are never too old to re-imagine the direction of your life and decide that things aren’t going quite the way you expected. It is also okay to feel a certain way about things and not feel guilty about them.
For example, I value my time with my daughter as sacred. If something is going to impinge on that time with her, I say no to other requests of my time. My child is only young once; there will be a point where as she gets older, Mom is no longer “cool” and friends will become her end-all, be-all. Children grow so fast; before you know it, they are out of the house and on their way to college. So for me, my daughter and our quality time come first. I place a high value on that.
While not related per se, minimalism helps me in this capacity. If I had to spend my time constantly arranging, organizing, and taking care of all of our things, I would have less time to spend with my daughter. Instead of snuggling together and watching a Charlie Brown cartoon, or baking cookies together, I would be cleaning, organizing, and taking care of our stuff.
And that is just not okay with me.
My life is a simple one, because I have made it so. That is not to say that I don’t experience heartache or have difficulties that I continue to overcome, it means that I choose a simple life because it aligns with my values. I strive for a minimalist lifestyle because spending time with loved ones is important to me and spending time taking care of stuff, is not. A simpler life helps keep me on my way to having more fullness in my life.
I still have dreams that I can’t wait to bring to fruition. Approaching a new decade in my life has brought home to me so many things, and I still continue to learn and grow and remind myself to stay true to the essence of who I am.
Are you living a life that is true to you?
Love this Mackenzie! I think you know how important this is to me too. I honestly feel like an outlier quite a bit in life, but I learned to start accepting myself along the way, because compromising who you really are at the core is sad and is also very draining. Those masks can wear you down.
I totally agree, masks can totally wear you down. Staying true to yourself is key 🙂
“Are your values taking a back seat to the monotony of life or the frenzied clamor of life and its draining entities?” That really struck a chord with me, Mackenzie. Because if I’m being honest, they do take a back seat far too often. I’ve actually been giving this a lot of thought lately about the lip service I give to certain things while not always doing the necessary work. How I need to break the bad habits and destructive mindsets so that I can live the life I want and honor my values. I’ve been making small but necessary and important changes to get more routine and focus into my life. To clear out both the mental and physical clutter to help me really figure out what I want my life to look like.
I know you want to make changes Tanya, and I totally 100% believe that you can do it! I have so much faith in you my friend! XO 🙂
Interesting what you say about “stuff” and how it keeps us from spending time with loved ones. I remember when I used to associate “stuff” with my true values. I always pictured it enhancing my time with, for example, my children. But that was a direct result of the images put into my head via marketing. I distinctly remember seeing a commercial with a little girl running into her mother’s arms on hardwood floor in a big house – and somehow it played into my desire for a big house with hardwood floors. I don’t even remember what the commercial was about. Anyway, sometimes we have to do a little separation between what we value and what we associate that value with. Does that make sense?
It does indeed make sense Ruth 🙂 Thanks for sharing your perspective!
This is an absolutely wonderful post, Mackenzie. Moving to the country has had this effect on us. It’s made us more clearly be able to see our priorities, you know? As such, we work harder each day at making our decisions on what we truly value, and not on what others may think, etc.
I can totally see how living out in the country would solidify the values you most want to emulate, Laurie! 🙂
Love this post! I’m currently on this journey now. I have just returned from the My Chi Journey (mychijourney.com) retreat and it was about living intentionally and designing the life we want to live. I believe minimalising plays a big part in living intentionally! Keeping in your life only the things that are important and bring you value. I’ve written a blog about minimalism and another about everyday intentions – that is my beginning to living a life that is true to me. (Tashtasticnz.com)